so im in my bathroom at my house taking a piss when the toilet roll dispenser begins to unravel at a shockingly fast speed by itself and didnt stop until all the toilet paper had unraveled. nuff said.

Went to a Radioshack meeting today with workers from around the district. What I learned was basically this: Everything that my manager taught me I need to just throw out because its all pretty much bullshit and his in store policies dont mean jack shit anymore. I actually feel some freedom because of this, and that our customer service level will sky rocket.  HURRAY BEER!

I had this nightmare last night about a t-rex coming into my parents house at night, and at the last second it ate me, i woke up shaking and sweating and was so scared it was hard for me to turn around to look at my alarm clock to see what time it was. It was the closest thing to my sleep paralysis incident in 2001 as I can think because as stupid as the nightmare was, the fear was so heightened that the only way I can explain it is some sort of toxin released by my body, similarly to the toxin my muscles released when I had my sleep paralysis episode. Scary stuff.

Saw Clerks 2 last night, I have to say that it was one of the most enjoyable movie going experiences
Ive had in awhile, and while it may have been five years since his last good film, folks im going as far as to say this is the funniest one hes ever done. Im not some huge kevin smith fan either, but all I know is I was falling out of my freakin seat last night with laughter. Randall was by far the funniest character, with Jay and Silent Bob seriously at their very best, and the chemistry between Rosario Dawson and Brian O'Halloran was perfect. Also, there was a preview for Jackass 2, and I couldnt believe some of the stuff the boys are doing, amazing...

"Let's see if we cant get this tooth out..."

Just for shits and giggles, I tried E Harmony. I took the  quiz, then selected a 30-60 mile radius after 15 minutes of quizzing. No one compatible, and when I tried to take it again, it wouldnt let me so I had to make a new username, filled it out again, and selected a 180 mile radius. Again, no one compatible. Finally, I chose the ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY to look fort compatibility. I shit you not ladies and gentlemen, of the millions and millions of E Harmony users, I am not compatible with a single one of them. Also, watched a movie with Reese Witherspoon called Twilight, she has a nude scene and while we oggled over this part, we had to do a double take. We zoomed in using the 360, and sure enough, right under both of her nipples, two scars which obviously confirm that she had a boob job. For those of you who dont know, in the early to mid nineties, the common way to perform this surgery was to go in through the nipples, and Reese was one of those fine young ladies to have this particular operation. Americas sweetheart. Such a shame, but man , they still look good.

So the air conditioning in my house went dead, and my brother and I have crashed at my parents house. We also received word from my oldest brother, who woke up in the middle of the night to the shakes and a pain in his chest. So for the first time in 2 years, all five members of my family were sleeping under the same roof again. And...its strange being back in that house. In all honesty I've been having nightmares for about two weeks now about when I took Micah to the vet to put him down. Ill wake up in the middle of the night dripping sweat, and I'll think about it during the day when I dont want to, like a memory forcing its way into my thoughts making me think about it. I talked to my mom, I cried about it, I felt guilty even thought its what needed to be done. My mom was telling me about how God made us the stewards of the animals, and that we need to do what is going to be in their best interests, even when it hurts us. I think the part that bothers me is, I know he was old, I know he was hurting and his body was really giving up on him, and even thinking about this right now my eyes are welling up and I am at work right now, but I hate the idea that he would be mad at me for what we did for him. My mom turned a corner in the hallway as I passed her by. I saw a shadow come around the corner a second later and I figured, "Well theres Micah following my mom", but then my brother came around the corner and it stunned me for a moment when it turned out not to be my dog. Anyways Im gonna stop now, and on a lighter note I saw A Prairie Home Companion, and it is by far the funniest movie Ive seen all year. Unfortunately, it was the last showing at the last theatre showing it in oklahoma so.....yeah. It was great.

So the big question that has been haunting me has finally been answered: "How did Tom Cruises' son in War of the Worlds survive?" Someone has answered.

"Near as I can tell, here's what happened: When that explosion occurred, it reacted with the sphincto-cosmium shell of the tri-pod, and created a small, yet powerful, worm hole. Robbie's jacket zipper was attracted with unrelenting force to this worm hole, which propelled him, er, violently sucked him, with a quick but painful jolt through to Boston. However, it wasn't completely instanteous, he did have a short metaphysical layover in Brighton Beach. Interestingly enough, there were no tri-pods in Brighton Beach, but several lost pieces of alien luggage had erroneously arrived there. Robbie wasn't up to noticing this though, but for the few nanno seconds he was there, his subconcious mind did notice a nice little boutique, where he would later return to buy his grandma a porcelain figurine of a cherub. Nicely hand painted, I might ad. Then he popped out in Boston."

hope you guys can see them now!!!

new york and philadelphia



empire state building



Cant see it? try

Xander the gay pug

me at the angels of america statue in central park

meg and i at the statue of liberty.....sort of

the front pillars of the philadelphia museum of art, and my favorite picture i took on the east coast

downtown historical philly

Finally, me in front of the pizza parlor that was featured in the movie "Signs", damn good pizza too!

Had this dream last night: My old friend Seth is spending the night with me at my parents house where in the dream my room is a mess. While he goes to sleep, I walk outside and try to seduce a large black girl back to my parents house. I suceed far enough to get her to my parents basement where in the dream but not in reality there is a door that leads to a walkway outside the house. I go back upstairs and my friend Seth is watching Brokeback Mountain, and when I question him as to why he is watching the film he shrugs and replies with "It was on." I head back downstairs where the black girl has now fallen asleep, and I hear my mom at the top of the stairs demanding to know what Im doing down there. I casually tell her that I am going to be up in a minute, and Seth is spending the night, yet am fearful that my mom may find out about the large black girl. My mom heads back to her room and the black girl decides to leave and almost walks out the door in the basement to my horror, for, if she DID open that door, the main alarm would go off and I'd have alot of explaining to do. The next thing I know, I'm being pulled at light speed through the streets of Oklahoma City until I wind up at a building that is half police station, half fire station. I am flown to the basement of the building that happens to be connected to an intricate subway system beneath OKC. As I stand around wondering how I got in a subway, and how a subway got in OKC, I decide to go the subway restroom. I go inside, look at myself in the mirror, and realize my face has changed, and my face is now black, while the rest of me is white. Then my hair grows long and black and the more it grows, the more I realize how feminine it looks and I start freaking out. I then see a man in the mirror so I turn around and I say to him, "This hair is terrible, it's like a womans hair, I think I REALLY need to get rid of it." He says, "No problem we are a barber shop!" I walk around the corner and sure enough in the subway restroom, there is a fully functional barbershop. "We can get you a haircut for $12 ." "Not bad for a haircut." I reply. So I sit down and freak cuz I dont have any money. "Do you take credit cards?" I ask. The man nods and I calm down. When they turn the chair around to face the mirror and begin the haircut, my appearance has once again changed.  I am now bald except for a few select patches on my head where the hair is shorter and longer and sometimes rattier. I also have a large gash on the right side of my head. Thats when I wake up.

I think the dream has to do with my identity, ranging from "Who am I really?" "Am I meant to be here in Oklahoma?" "Was I meant to be born here?" to sexual identity, sexual uncomfortability with my looks, and fear of being able to satisfy a partner sexually.

Your thoughts?

Jacob recently told me of a few gentlemen who are tattoo artists who used ice as anesthesia and sliced their ring fingers open. They then inserted rare earth magnets into the tips of their fingers using the magnets as a sort of sixth sense, being able to feel magnetized vibrations thus being able to tell live wires from dead, and energy such as refrigerators humming, or their computers hard drive warming up. Since it isnt government funded, there have been problems. Using plastic coating over the magnets, the body eventually ate away the coating, leaving one mans magnet to bust up and cause a dead spot of skin on his finger. They found that it doesnt erase credit cards, one of the main concerns.

Your thoughts?