July 21, 2006

• So the air conditioning in my house went dead, and my brother and I have crashed at my parents house. We also received word from my oldest brother, who woke up in the middle of the night to the shakes and a pain in his chest. So for the first time in 2 years, all five members of my family were sleeping under the same roof again. And...its strange being back in that house. In all honesty I've been having nightmares for about two weeks now about when I took Micah to the vet to put him down. Ill wake up in the middle of the night dripping sweat, and I'll think about it during the day when I dont want to, like a memory forcing its way into my thoughts making me think about it. I talked to my mom, I cried about it, I felt guilty even thought its what needed to be done. My mom was telling me about how God made us the stewards of the animals, and that we need to do what is going to be in their best interests, even when it hurts us. I think the part that bothers me is, I know he was old, I know he was hurting and his body was really giving up on him, and even thinking about this right now my eyes are welling up and I am at work right now, but I hate the idea that he would be mad at me for what we did for him. My mom turned a corner in the hallway as I passed her by. I saw a shadow come around the corner a second later and I figured, "Well theres Micah following my mom", but then my brother came around the corner and it stunned me for a moment when it turned out not to be my dog. Anyways Im gonna stop now, and on a lighter note I saw A Prairie Home Companion, and it is by far the funniest movie Ive seen all year. Unfortunately, it was the last showing at the last theatre showing it in oklahoma so.....yeah. It was great.

  • 8:18 pm
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